...you do not like the things as you did before. I believe I have changed drastically from the beginning of 08, this is due to events that have happened in my life, not to sound dramatic but they have definitely impacted on the person that I have become today, in a good and bad way. The reasons for my actions are consequently due to my eventful life. I guess it is necessary to have highs and lows in your life to alter your existence… I mean who would want to live their life doing the same thing, feeling the same emotions everyday?
There’s a song that has been on repeat on my winamp for hours, it’s called Think Of you by A Fine Frenzy, I love her album One Cell in the Sea. It’s a must listen, so check it out! There’s a lyric in there that got me pondering rather than studying for my modern exam:
“I thought I had it figured out
In a brand new life
With a great big house and
Green initials on the towels
I should be happy now”
What if the plans I have for my life do not work out and I end up completely lost and living a life that I did not intend to have?
Anyway, that’s for future me to figure it out.
Here are the things that are different about me these past few months:
- As autumn approached last month, I realised I really loved the falling brown leaves and windy days…. I use to love Sping&Summer now I am an Autumn&Winter chick. I just love those cold days where you stay in bed for hours listening to Feist or Lykke Li curling up to a good book while sipping on hot coffee, chocolate or milk tea. Those days are gold. The fashion is also way more satisfying than Spring and Summer fashion.
- I have become less of an optimistic person and have shifted to a realist. For example, I use to be one of those people who believed in doing things that make you happy regardless of the consequences, at present, I am someone who’s vision is blinded by reality and can only see the logic towards things. This relates to my change in university courses and what I want to do with my life. At the moment, I am totally clueless with the path I want to choose but all I know is I want to make lots of money and buy a big house with a spectacular garden and an exquisite view.
- To contradict my last point, I tend to daydream more often that I use to. I also like to sleep more because I can escape into the life that I want and wished I had. Sleep is like a city where you are God and can control every aspect that you wish to but it’s not the city I live in…. permanently.
- I do not see the good in boys anymore except for the ones I call my best friends.
- I use to like the idea of going on a date, dining at an expensive restaurant but now my ideal date is walking in the park on a breezy day, when the sun just sets while talking about the past, present and future.
- I have had the realisation that I can be heavily opinionated, obnoxious and self-righteous at times. With this realisation, I will change.
- Nevertheless, I have also grown to be more comfortable with my best friends, so comfortable that I can talk to them about anything and finally open up to my loved ones.
The things that will never change are the love for my best friends, family and me.
I’d like to give special shout outs (not in order) to:
- Rowena especially for making this blog and giving me the opportunity to voice my thoughts and of course for always being there for me ever since eleven years ago.
- Cathy Vu for always making me laugh when times are tough and tolerating with my complaints all the time, I value your friendship more than words can explain.
- Thanh for telling me what I need to hear and understanding my point of views even when no one else does.
- Khanh for being a good friend who I can depend on for support.
- Bryan for the happy moments I treasure in my life and being there for me when I need someone to talk to.
- Chris for giving me directions when Im clueless in life and being there when I need you.
- David Chi for giving me the wisdom and guidance to help me in life and tolerating my calls even if it’s at 2 in the morning.
- Paul for those great moments we shared and especially for always being there for me through thick and thin.
- Jeffrey for being the hilarious person you are and cheering me up when I need it most.
- My family for always putting up with my absurd behaviours and easily forgiving me when I am at fault.
Of course, these are only a few lines that I can come up with at the top of my head, the way I feel about you guys are so so so much more, so thank you for everything you guys have done for me, I appreciate each and everyone of you so dearly.
And to someone who is not present in my current life..
I have learnt to forgive you and move on, I wished things didn’t turn out the way it has but you have helped me realise so many things that were wrong with me and from this experience I have grown to become a better person. Thank you.
“Just to put your mind at ease
You don’t owe me anything
You paid me well....
In memories”
I promise you my next entry will not be this cheesy..
V.
Labels: a fine frenzy, first, friends, rowena, self-reflection
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